she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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