You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
