I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
