Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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