D3 body, D1 cock
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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