i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How's work?
Spinning.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
