Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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