Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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