just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
