Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
