brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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