I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
birth control should be required to get into college
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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