god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
