I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
