Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
