I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
