Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
