Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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