Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
