dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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