Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
