i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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