Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
