It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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