she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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