I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
