Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
