Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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