I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
