some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
