Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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