I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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