You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
