Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
