dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
