finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
