You just made me feel so damn special
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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