I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
