I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
