Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
