omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
