Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
