Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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