I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
