Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
