: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
