The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
