Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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