The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
