hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
