Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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